For some (odd) reason, I feel the need to emphasize that this entire home-schooling decision was prompted by Haley, and solely fueled my desire to see her ENJOY learning (and realizing I can't do *worse* than the intermediate school she currently attends. There is no "problem" per se.The Public elementary school that Haley attended, and Ian currently attends, has been great. But as I investigate homeschooling, it's becoming clear that this might be the way to go for Ian as well (considering his personality).
Additionally, (again, for some odd reason) I feel the need to 'justify' why Hana's going to the Public school while I pull the older ones out. The short answer is, it worked well for the other two children, and I don't anticipate it won't be equally (if not MORE effective) for Hana (based on her personality and learning-style).
Besides, if Hana begins to regress back into her RAD, that may be an indication to go ahead and pull her out of Public school too. She's done so well at home. I must admit I'm a tiny bit concerned about sending her to another 'institution' if she hasn't fully recovered from earlier childhood adversities and issues. But, because the school is a good school, I feel its worth giving it a try. With a small element of RAD, she may be 'protected' from the opinions of others (as she doesn't really care what they say), and with the dishibited form she displayed, residually that may serve to enhance her ability to make friends, "fit in" and enjoy it fully. Bottom line, she just might excel and thrive. And that would be a great thing!
Anyway...
I read this story today, and it really resonated with me. As I try to work through my thoughts, ideas, expectations, justifications, uncertainties, and excitement about home-schooling, I find myself full of "words." So many words that it takes awhile to prune my thoughts into coherent aliquots that can be subsequently expressed verbally (or in writing)!
Therefore, I was *delighted* to see "my words" so succinctly stated:
Unless you have lived through academic struggles with a child who is a misfit for school, it is hard to describe the impact on the family. Tears, sobbing, pleading, punishment, crumpled & torn paper strewn across the floor, pencils cracked in frustration & anger, books thrown across the room, yelling, doors slamming, sullen eyes, silent treatment….entire afternoons and evenings derailed by academic drama.
And that's just after school. There's also the mornings of pulling them out of bed over and over again, threatening to leave them home, skipping breakfast, begging, pleading, water thrown on their head to get them to wake up. Something that is so simple (get up, go to school, do homework) becomes so complicated, so dramatic, clouding everything in your world. It's a full time, exhausting, no-reward effort, debilitating for everyone....
My son has good intentions—always a willing participant in trying a new approach. He wanted the positive glow of a great grade. But he could not sustain the effort needed to achieve it. So every new attempt would last a day or a week or a month until he lost interest...
Looking back, I have known for years that he was in the wrong place academically. And I feel deep shame that I didn't take action sooner...
My observations coincide with hers in many respects. While my child didn't have the issues her child does (perhaps because she's younger and female) I can see some of the positive changes in Haley *already*, just with the prospect of home-schooling. It's amazing, actually. And maybe...the change isn't JUST with Haley. Maybe the entire family has been affected by the *prospect* of homeschooling.
Like the author, I do wonder 'what took me so long' to realize (after multiple schools and educational home supplementation) that traditional wasn't really yielding expected results? I think I kept waiting for it to get better. "Fourth grade is when you learn all the really important stuff....so we'll see how 4th grade goes." And when it didn't happen in 4th, the thought became, "Well, maybe in fifth grade the magic happens these days, when she finally breaks off and goes to *intermediate* school..."
One HUGE, very specific change I've noticed with my child *already* (even though nothing else has changed. She still attends Public school. She has the same 'friends.') is she's so relaxed and treats her siblings much nicer. She went from "No one in my room!!" to "Can Hana and I have a slumber party?"
And as further evidence of her 'more relaxed state', I've noticed that she's not so stressed out (frustrated, asking questions before thinking for herself, crying, etc.) when WE go over things together at home. I was able to teach her the Spanish verb conjugations with a few tears. I was then able to teach her the Spanish alphabet with NO tears. And just last week, I was able to teach her percents, proportions, ratios, and review long division via Khan Academy...and it was AWESOME. Not only were there no tears...we actually had a good time.
After the time was up, she wanted to keep going!! I think she realizes that...there is no hurry to learn it before "the class moves on." There is no reason to "slow down" in order to not leave a kid behind. She has as much (or as little) time as she needs. She can take the lesson in a completely different direction that what was initially intended....and learn with enthusiasm.
We both had a good time. AND, when we went grocery shopping, she was able to actually figure out "which one is the best deal." This has been a sore spot for 2 years with us (whereby she couldn't think of the math 'fast' enough so she'd immediately become anxious and frustrated. Eventually, she didn't even want to try...).
This is encouraging because...we haven't even started our home-schooling yet.
