Past Activities and what we have "settled" on (for now).

Over the years the children have had the opportunity to engage in many activities.  Some were compatible with their ability, interest, and natural talent.  I find it is often useful to take a look back and see what worked, what didn't, and what they're doing now.  

Haley has done most sports and after much 'exploration' as new parents, she has settled on:  Music [piano, harp, choir], debate, and fencing.  Upcoming is math.  Jack and Jill continues.

Haley through age 11 (above)

Haley from age 11 - 12

Hana has the benefit of more experience parents who are better able to recognize and hone in on targeted activities that coalesce with her natural talents.  After attempting piano (and briefly harp) we realized that it was too much information coming at her at once, and at 5 and 6 years old the return on investment was too low and time would be better spent focusing on something more time-sensitive - like gymnastics.  Of course gymnastics became all-consuming, and since it wasn't a perfect fit, the sacrifice to her (her family time, risk of injury, stress on her body), and the opportunity lost cost was just too high to reasonably justify continuation:

Hana has settled on:  Music [viola and upcoming choir] and Jack and Jill.  Basketball is only a introduction recreation, much like the afterschool PE she takes which explores all the sports.  We may continue that, depending on time, and how music practice goes.  If there is no time to "get together" with people, the children can always play in the backyard and go to the park.  It is our intention to have her ready to audition for the Junior String Orchestra in 1.5 years.

Hana age through 6

Ian has been quite content taking his sweet time before jumping in and becoming actively involved in extextracurriculars.  Jack and Jill has been great for various "cool" activities.  He tried flag-football and HATED it.  He actually made it quite clear that he didn't want to play sports, period.  So we had to find a sport sans all the testosterone:  swimming and water polo.  He didn't like piano at all, and violin was moving VERY slowly - so we opted to try something different.  He enjoyed horseback riding, so we did that for awhile, but ultimately he grew disinterested in taking care of the entire horse, and being that its expensive and time-intensive, if he wasn't really appreciating the sport, it was time to move on.

We attended a few junior 4H meetings, had various pets and animals, planted gardens, and he took trips to local vets to see what they do.  He lost interest in animals as his interest grew in computers and video games.

Ultimately Ian has settled on:  Swimming & water polo, Music [upright bass, guitar, choir], and Jack and Jill continues.  We are planning to rev up his math curriculum.  We hope he is ready to audition for the Junior String Orchestra in the Spring.

Ian through age 9

 May 2010 - Flag Footbal with i9

Observations and thoughts:  The youngest has the benefit of parents who are better able to select personality (and natural talent) activities for the child, and able to identify and discontinue activities that aren't "working" for one reason or another, timely.  This means wasting less time and money, and focusing *earlier* on high-yield options thereby allowing the child to excel sooner (i.e at an earlier age) and find more success in a particular activity.  

Appears that HALEY began her experiences at age 3 with itty-bitty sports (basketball, T-ball, and soccer at the local YMCA).  She started ballet at age 4 and continued until age 7 (3 years).  After a few false-starts with volleyball, gymnastics, and drama, basketball was more long-lasting.  She started basketball at age 9 and played for a year and a half before realizing that she wasn't having a good time.  Also at age 9 Haley started piano, which continues until today.  In the 3 years she's been playing piano, Haley has risen and demonstrated that music is indeed one of her natural talents.  

At age 10, harp was added to the repertoire, and at age 12 Haley made the Philharmonic Orchestra for harp (1.5 years later).  The kids all intermittently experienced horseback riding (more for fun), arts/crafts, and Jack and Jill events.*  

In the last year and a half (ages 11 and 12) Haley tried tennis (didn't like it) and ultimately picked up speech/debate, choir, and fencing.  

IAN was a little slower to get started with organized extracurricular.  Although we participated in Kindergym (more in order to acclimate to our new community, meet people, and make friends) Ian was not interested in socializing.  Jack and Jill helped (at age 4) but Ian's first organized team was the i9 flag football league he joined (and Daddy coached) when he was 5 years old.  He was no fan of football and really didn't play.

A year later, at age 6, he was introduced to the piano, swimming, horseback riding (which he did intermittently for 2 years), and violin.  He enjoyed horseback riding, but what 'stuck' was swimming.

Another year later, at age 7, Ian moved more towards arts/crafts and animals (junior 4H).  Ian also started kung-fu at age 7, and transitioned to more karate later in the year (in total, martial arts training lasted about 9 months, then his hip pain put impact sports on pause.  After a pause, he decided he didn't really like the fighting anyway, so we stopped).  

At age 8, after a false-start with the harmonica, he began his musical instruction with guitar and a year later (age 9) added upright bass and choir.  Few technology camps at age 8 were positive, and swimming was revved up (together with spalshball) - which is what he does now at age 9.  

HANA has had a precocious experience, being exposed to much more than the other two at the same age due to their experiences.  Hana had access to Jack and Jill at age 2.  Her first exposure to music (the piano) was at age 3.  She was also 3 when she started gymnastics (a sport she would continue until age 6) - for 3 years.  At age 6 she also experienced basketball, started the viola, and joined the choir.  

Summary:

At 6 Haley was doing ballet only (music study wasn't initiated until age 9).  At age 4 Haley performed in recital:  ballet.  

At age 6 Ian had played i9, and was introduced to swimming, but had not yet started *studying* music (but had a few exposures to various instruments).  At age 9, Ian has his first performance:  choir.

By 6 Hana has done gymnastics, played basketball, and is studying music (choir and piano). At age 6 Hana has her first performance:  gymnastics.

So it seems that we are "on track" with the children and their respective on-going activities:

Haley - Music [piano, harp/orchestra, choir], debate, fencing, and adding MATH [college prep]

Hana - Music [viola, choir] - going to diminish sports outside of recreational/PE.  Consider introducing LANGUAGES [?natural talent].

Ian - Music [bass, guitar, choir], swimming/polo.  Consider trying to find more technology training [natural interest].

*The family joined Jack and Jill in April of 2010 (Haley was 7, Ian was 4, and Hana was 2)

End of year Hybrid homeschooling (brief) update

As this academic year closes, I am very proud of our success!!  Haley pulled off all As (from external evaluators).  I am most proud that I didn't even check her grades but TWICE this year.  We/I am really trying to avoid getting "caught up" in worrying about doing work (and educating) for grades rather than for LEARNING.  But, it's appropriate to log-in at the end of the semesters to check and see how we are faring.


Ian and Hana also did well.  They don't have grades...not really.  But through-out the year I've exchanged plenty of emails inquiring about their progress.  This upcoming year, we plan to switch Hana to another Hybrid school that is better suited for her gymnastics.  I really do love how flexible the homeschooling (hybrid) has proven to be - allowing us to really tailor and create the curriculum (with SUPPORT) that we need to be successful as a homeschooling family.  And, honestly, the days they are with instructors are very useful times for us (parents) to get some things done.

What an enlightening experience this has all been.  And we are ALL so happy that we found success.

Hana switches to homeschool and Hybrid School

Hana starts Hybrid School and SO happy to be with her siblings!!  She was happy to go to Public School, and we were excited to give her the opportunity that was afforded to Ian and Haley.  But after further consideration, it just makes more sense to have them all together.  And I underestimated how much "easier" and more "excited" she'd be to be with her sister and brother.  And they with her!!

Hana is eager to do her "at home" work and is diligent and agreeable!!  

UPDATES:
Haley is in a routine, completing her 5 classes (History, Language Arts, Pre-Algebra, Life Science, and Spanish) in addition to maintaining her piano instruction and harp lessons.  Because of the intensity of the courses (she's learning about protein synthesis in LS, and distance algebraic word problems in math...) we have not yet started Latin or Vocabulary study.

Ian had to take a pause on physical activity because while we were in Washington DC he started limping. And upon follow-up with pediatric orthopedic surgeon, it was recommended that he rest his leg/hip.  So no more martial arts, horseback riding, or afterschool PE.  But he is starting harmonica lessons this week!!

Hana continues to do gymnastics, now 2 times a week for 90 minutes.  And, for now, (with kindergarten, and gymnastics) that's enough.

Socialization? With other pre-teens? Not a great idea....

And this article exeplifies how non-essential and potentially damaging "socialization" can be.  Totally overrated!!  I had this conversation with Haley just yesterday, and she agrees that the psychiatric bin that is "school" is uncomfortable at best.  She states she didn't really have real relationships with these "random" children...and noticed that most of them were to total opposite of good role-models and she often questioned the necessity of being forced to spend so much time with people she neither likes nor has anything in common with.

What is she to learn from them?  What are they going to "teach her?"  How to interact with 12 year olds?  I prefer for Haley to learn how to interact with adults - being that she's going to spend the large majority of her time as an adult, with adults and its adults who can actually do useful things for her and help promote her.  Learning to to "fit in" with a group of 6 grade girls...is not a valuable skill.  Learning how to socialize with people of all ages - particularly those who make the rules and are in positions of authority, is a much more valuable skill.

Most people admit that "teen-agers are difficult" and "aren't much fun."  Why would I want Haley to learn to be like that?

"Our current education system was created in the late 1800s and...set up to supply the factories with a skilled labor force... Unfortunately, most people learn in those classrooms to hate education for the rest of their lives...

The factory system doesn't work in the modern world, because two years after graduation, whatever you learned is out of date. ...Education needs to be combined in interesting and creative ways with work.

The more young people are infantilized, the more psychopathology they show.

Teens in America are in touch with their peers on average 65 hours a week, compared to about four hours a week in preindustrial cultures. In this country, teens learn virtually everything they know from other teens, who are in turn highly influenced by certain aggressive industries. This makes no sense. Teens should be learning from the people they are about to become. When young people exit the education system and are dumped into the real world, which is not the world of Britney Spears, they have no idea what's going on and have to spend considerable time figuring it out.

What's the worst part of the current way we treat teens?
The adversarial relationship between parents and offspring is terrible; it hurts both parents and young people.... They don't realize they are caught in a machine that's driving them apart from their offspring—and it's unnecessary.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200703/trashing-teens?fb_action_ids=10151857751479476&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

Article: Truancy and why we are glad Hana's out of Public School

I had to share these two article that totally capture my sentiment as a new homeschool mom.  As we take take the opportunity for Hana to participate in Artemis and Disney Jrs Doc Mobile tour...and then go to Washington DC to practice our etiquette, fancy dress, manners, and learn United States history in Washington DC...we were super happy with our decision to avoid being criminally accused of being bad parents.




"Leanna’s teacher reports that she “follows classroom rules” and “always participates.” She never disrupts class, loiters at the mall or stashes marijuana in her backpack. But this bashful girl snuggling up to her mom, butterfly-princess-glitter-wand in hand, landed in court a few months ago. And now her mother has a stain on her permanent record."

"Her offense? Leanna was late to school."

"On Tariq’s official Collin County record, the offense appears as “Failure to Attend School – Parent/Guardian Contributing.” It’s a Class C misdemeanor… coupled with a four-hour wait that required Leanna to miss school...."

"Many parents are not even aware until their court summons arrives that aiding and abetting tardiness can go on their permanent records. But for these families, the courtroom becomes the place to hash out their organizational problems, get a court-ordered parenting class and maybe even learn how to get their children dressed in the morning, all on the taxpayer dollar."

"The law refers to children at least 6 years of age…enrolled in *public* preschool…. While some 4-year-olds don’t attend school at all, those such as Leanna who are enrolled in preschool must be on time or face a court date for nonattendance. And the law does not distinguish between tardies and half- or full-day absences...."

http://www.dfwchild.com/features/911/Elementary-Truancy

Of note:  we would have received a threatening letter had we not pulled her out.  This was made known to us - eventhough we organized this trip and "cleared" it with the school leadership.  Nevermind kindergarten is not compulsory....

Where we are

To do list:
Finish our extra room
Discover learning type project
Continue reading "homeschooling books."
Transition kids to more paleo diet.
Don't forget to plan and implement the Spiritual curriculum
All curriculum planned and materials purchased!!
Camps - Writing, Math, Speech/Debate, Art 

School begins - Late August
Plan daily activities based on spreadsheet of curriculum.
Get all supplies


Activities
Visiting friends and lots of water fun
Links Gala - formal ball
High noon tea
Spa day:  Mommy and Haley
Lessons ongoing - Horseback riding, Piano, Harp, Karate/kung-fu

Trips
Portland, OR - July
Atlanta, GA - August
Washington DC - September
Waco, TX - October

Summer Spa Day with the girls!!

Summer Curriculum In Action

Math camp continues, and Haley is working on exponents and negative numbers...order of operations, and even a short introduction to square roots!!  She's feeling like a math whiz, and her teacher emailed me to share that Haley is engaged in class, asking lots of questions, and seems to be excited about learning!!

Writing camp continues.  Haley has learned how to write a theses statement, and is working on grammar.  Additionally, she is reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  During week 1 of her Art Camp, she was scheduled to miss writing camp, BUT the writing teacher agreed to teach Haley one-on-one so she wouldn't be behind the following week.  He said, Haley was very engaged in the 1-on-1 session.  And Haley said she prefers the 1-on-1 session.

Art camp was a HIT.  They painted, did paper mache' and sculptures.  Spent 2 hours each day with an art instructor and 4 other children was time they enjoyed.  There's one more session later this month.

Horseback riding continues.  Haley has already "graduated" to a larger horse.  They are comfortable on the horse, and know horse etiquette.  Ian and Hana are there as well, learning side-by-side.  Just them with the teacher.

Homesteading:  All the children continue to nurture our garden, care for the hens and dogs, and do light chores around the house.

Hana continues gymnastics.  The teacher said she needs to practice "following directions"...so we're working on that at home so she can make the Team in December.

Martial Arts:  Ian continues kung-fu, HOWEVER, we have moved him to a studio closer to home.  As the girls get busier, and Dad gets more contracts, it became increasing burdensome to go way across cities for him to do something that he can very well do a mile or two from the house.  Additionally, I appreciate the diversity and African American leadership at the studio close to the house, which I think is great for Ian since my own father (his grandfather) is dead.

The kung-fu place by the house ALSO teaches a karate component - so really it's "martial arts."  But NOT Tae Kwondo.  So, it works!!

Leadership training and Music:  Haley has started teaching Hana piano. This allows Haley to establish her teaching style, practice being a fair and effective instructor, and start working on writing her Intro to Piano book with her piano teacher!!

Haley watched an Artemis webinar on Branding YOU.  So she can begin learning about her *reputation* and personal style and brand (because its never to early).

Time management:  Haley has been introduced and is utilizing a *schedule*!!  It looks something like this:
10:00a - wake up/use bathroom
10:10 - make breakfast/get dressed
10:30 - Math assignments (or move ahead)
11:30 - break
11:40 - Writing assignments (or read if completed); speech
12:30 - Lunch
1:00p - Piano (for 2 hours)
3:00p - Harp* (for 30 minutes)
3:30 - DONE with schedule

Of course she can modify as necessary.  And on days that she actually has lessons or class, THAT is the time that is used for that activity.  She realizes she may need to "borrow" time from one subject if another is due sooner.  And on some days, her days are going to be longer (if her motivation to complete the assignments is lower).  It's lighter on the weekends.  But, essentially, this is her daily schedule (that she can modify, as mentioned).

*We have a new harp teacher that comes to our home - further attempts to maximize our time and avoid spending/wasting it in the car.

Ethics/Spirituality:  We have TONS of "Mommy Wisdom Lectures" whereby at teaching moments, particularly when it comes to leadership training (don't make your sister cry), and concept of humanity/ethics (sharing cautionary tales from the news, or delving into deeper conversations about self-image, self-respect, state of the World politically, socially, etc) we can engage in long (sometimes hours at a time a couple of times a day) exchanges that only a Mommy can with her Daughter!  I estimate at least 30 minutes of "this time" a day.  Always impromptu.  Primarily because I'm HOME and and TIME...so as things happen or issues arise, I am there and available to talk it out with her (and SHE is present and available to receive it).  As I spiritually feed myself (though various means, including Church and personal reading, Earthing and meditating) I allow myself to be a channel so I can share it with her.  (Of course its age-appropriately adjusted for the younger children).

Social etiquette:  We've been to, and plan to attend a few deliberately different social settings (scholarship dinner, formal dance, pool party with colleagues, dining out, being thoughtful and helpful, etc).

Of course there's plenty of time for fun socialization - water fun, pool fun, fun with friends, going out to eat, bowling, birthday parties, and church (socialization at its most effective).

Financial literacy:  Renewed bond with Grandma yielded cash gifts that were used to learn about shopping and saving.  For Haley, this entailed going to the bank and opening a checking account - with a real debit card!

Safety:  We practice water safety.  Hana now knows how to swim!!  (Still not super strong, but she doesn't sink to the bottom.  She only needs to practice breathing while she swims - coming up for air, dog-paddle, etc).

Debate:  Haley is doing a Speech/Debate Camp as well, which is scheduled for next week.

Homeschooling Workshop:  I attended a homeschooling workshop and discovered an entire university-type facility that offers classes in almost everything!!  Theater and social opportunities as well (such as dances and sports teams for homeschooled children).  At this workshop it was emphasized that we should really take time to get to KNOW our child's learning style.  So I'm reading this great book:  Discover Your Child's Learning Style.  The kids and I have been taking "quizzes" so we can all learn about our learning styles.  It has been enlightening.  One of those elements of being human that you tend to under-acknowledge, but it is SO important!!

Preparation for Fall:  I have purchased ALL OF THE TEXT BOOKS (except one book for Haley, and the supplies/books that need to be purchased at registration) for Haley and Ian for the 2013-14 academic year.  I also completely organized and created excel documents for the children's curricula.



***
To do:
Get Classroom Ready
Finish Discover Your Child's Learning Style
Purchase that last Life Science Book for Haley
Try to find/connect with Secular Homeschoolers locally

Upcoming:
Debate Camp
New Karate/Kung-fu (consideration for Haley to take lessons as well, but possibly in the Fall)
Trips:  Portland and Atlanta (then later Washington DC) - that takes planning and preparing to maximize the learning time.

Finishing Strong.

The summer curriculum is shaping up.

Haley has both art and music camp for a week. Haley also has a pre-algebra math course and (a likely) weekly creative writing class.  I've found what seems like a great horseback riding teacher locally (and inexpensively).  And, she will continue her harp/piano throughout the summer.

Ian, has more "relaxation time" (which he'll enjoy) with 2 weeks of art camp, and continuation of kung-fu.  He'll also do horseback-riding (as will little sister, Hana).  And, so far, that's where we are.

I'm looking for an IT course of some sort (I think he'll like that).  And maybe...a photography course.

We have a few trips planned:  Portland, OR; Atlanta, GA; and Washington DC (July, August, September).  We intend to host out-of-town guests (Grandma and Auntie).  We are planning to train our dog in a structured fashion (albeit this is low on the priority list right now because Ian is a bit young).

Ian and Haley both have their study tablets (that they mostly play games on currently).  The outside room is coming along slowly (had other priorities INSIDE the house before working outside of our living space).  And as Haley finishes up her (exceedingly unproductive) last days of school (where, now that the STAAR test is over, she spends all day sitting on the floor or a tent, reading) we are excited to be moving on to the next thing.

I did inquire about absences (more for Hana next year), because this may be a reason to pull Hana out of public school.  Afterall, they threaten to call CPS if the child misses "too many days" of *optional* kindergarten?!!  OR...we can just keep her home.

Turns out the kids can miss 17 days of school.  They have only missed 5.  So, we could keep them home the rest of the year and not get to 17 (which is nice).  Especially since, I have plans for them and will likely keep them home a few of these days (Grandma in town, math camp begins, etc).

So, in the spirit of "finishing strong" and "stick-to-it-ness" the kids finish out their academic year in Public school.

The Year of Learning Dangerously

When we started this experiment, I thought I knew what a typical homeschooling family looked like. Homeschoolers were either fundamentalist Christians who wanted to isolate their children from the corrupting influence of modern society or off-the-grid hippies with a reflexive fear of authority and an inclination to make their own yogurt and shoes.

http://www.takepart.com/article/2013/04/26/homeschooling-harmful-myth-debunked?cmpid=wfs-fb

Thinking about buying this book (when it comes out in paperback sometime in the Fall).  Right now, I have enough reading material to keep me busy until then (so why purchase the hard-back right now?).  Besides, I like paperbacks better.


Update:  7/3/13
Got the book on sale from Amazon.  About a third of the way done.  LOVING IT!!

Learning styles and nuances of intention

I'll shamelessly admit that so many of my blog entry inspirations this early in the game arise from other blogs. A few days ago I read "School is a competition where winners get nothing" and felt motivated to share these ideas on my own blog (more for future reference for myself, which is the singular purpose of this entire blog, actually).  

What was particularly interesting to me is how Penelope states the obvious:  

You already know that everyone learns differently.  You already know that each kid has different interests, and you know that kids learn at different rates.  So you know, intuitively, if you set up school to be a competition, it will not be close to a fair fight.

You won't have all the math kids competing against each other in math and all the artists competing against each other in art.  You actually have the math kids competing in art and the art kids competing in math, because the idea of school is not only competitive, but also pushes the idea of well-roundedness.

1.  Testing gives people a way to rank kids.

2.  Report cards give parents a way to rank themselves based on how well their kids learn.

3.  School measures IQ not only with testing, but by setting up discrete subject matter that requires basically one type of IQ.

So obviously true.  Last night, when I explained this to Haley, she understood immediately.  See, Haley has a friend who does VERY well in school.  Her learning style is conducive to how information is presented in school.  She has the natural personality to accept what's said as fact, doesn't have tons of questions about "why?" and is able to memorize and regurgitate those facts on a multiple choice survey.  

And that makes her "gifted."  That makes her "intelligent."  

Haley has TONS of questions.  And takes nothing as a 'given fact' just because some 'random' person tells her it's truth.  She's a thinker. 

Additionally, I believe, in addition to the various *known* learning styles (see below) there are subtleties and nuances that are not being accounted for.  Such as complementary energy, intention, interpersonal interaction, and other influences that are difficult to articulate, much-less analyze.  

Take for instance a dog.  If you love the dog (and the dog *knows* you love him), he is more eager to please.  And even when you're having a "bad day" and being impatient, the dog KNOWS you love him, and will happily tolerate you, and try even harder to please you...to make you feel better.  The dog is more responsive, and feels like he's important to you.

On the contrary, if the dog senses animosity or resentment from you...or if the dog doesn't feel like you like him, he will be less enthusiastic about learning from you.  Even a smart and motivated dog will sense the negative energy from it's trainer, and that trainer will be less likely to pull excellence out of that dog.

Of course children has this ability as well.  The ability to sense the *motives* of the person who's offering the advice or teaching the "lesson."  And the more sensitive the child to this energy, the less likely they are to wholeheartedly accept information as truth in their lives from "negative" people.  

School teachers (while intentions may start out altruistic and genuine) are jaded and cynical.  Especially when interacting with a child who may be from a family that coincides with their own beliefs.  Or, they may begin to put of an emotional wall when interacting with "problem" children (i.e. children who ask 'why?').  Because, answering the "why?" isn't always easy.  Because answering the "why?" requires the teacher to think.  And they aren't rewarded for thinking...

Parents, on the other hand, (barring those rare parental misfits) care the MOST about their children.  No one cares more.  Therefore, the chances of your child performing better for you (even in a 'weaker' subject) are much greater.  The energy is not weird.  And the environment is not competitive for the sake of ranking students (and parents) based on arbitrary criteria that do not result in success, peace, or any other relevant "happiness indicator" in the world.  So what's the point?  

My children have talents that are not measured on the STAAR test.  My children have attributes that go unappreciated in traditional school classrooms in this country.  My children are bright, funny, caring, helpful, artistic, athletic, compassionate, honorable little people...and their life light shines bright.  

In the early years (kindergarten, 1st grade, etc) the teachers tend to be nice and more understanding of the innate genius that each child possess.  And traditional school may work well - and actually prove beneficial in allowing the proverbial socialization (especially for the oldest/only child).  However, as children get older, and their uniqueness really takes center-stage (coupled with *many* social outlets via siblings and extracurriculars  the traditional model may be less beneficial.  Especially in the setting of test-overemphasis and focus on grades and memorization...traditional school can become very detrimental to many children. 

Learning Styles:

• Visual: The occipital lobes at the back of the brain manage the visual sense. Both the occipital and parietal lobes manage spatial orientation.
• Aural: The temporal lobes handle aural content. The right temporal lobe is especially important for music.
• Verbal: The temporal and frontal lobes, especially two specialized areas called Brocas and Wernickeïkis areas (in the left hemisphere of these two lobes).
• Physical: The cerebellum and the motor cortex (at the back of the frontal lobe) handle much of our physical movement.
• Logical: The parietal lobes, especially the left side, drive our logical thinking.
• Social: The frontal and temporal lobes handle much of our social activities. The limbic system (not shown apart from the hippocampus) also influences both the social and solitary styles. The limbic system has a lot to do with emotions, moods and aggression.
• Solitary: The frontal and parietal lobes, and the limbic system, are also active with this style.

Observations

For some (odd) reason, I feel the need to emphasize that this entire home-schooling decision was prompted by Haley, and solely fueled my desire to see her ENJOY learning (and realizing I can't do *worse* than the intermediate school she currently attends.  There is no "problem" per se.

The Public elementary school that Haley attended, and Ian currently attends, has been great.  But as I investigate homeschooling, it's becoming clear that this might be the way to go for Ian as well (considering his personality).

Additionally, (again, for some odd reason) I feel the need to 'justify' why Hana's going to the Public school while I pull the older ones out.  The short answer is, it worked well for the other two children, and I don't anticipate it won't be equally (if not MORE effective) for Hana (based on her personality and learning-style).

Besides, if Hana begins to regress back into her RAD, that may be an indication to go ahead and pull her out of Public school too.  She's done so well at home.  I must admit I'm a tiny bit concerned about sending her to another 'institution' if she hasn't fully recovered from earlier childhood adversities and issues.  But, because the school is a good school, I feel its worth giving it a try.  With a small element of RAD, she may be 'protected' from the opinions of others (as she doesn't really care what they say), and with the dishibited form she displayed, residually that may serve to enhance her ability to make friends, "fit in" and enjoy it fully.  Bottom line, she just might excel and thrive.  And that would be a great thing!

Anyway...

I read this story today, and it really resonated with me.  As I try to work through my thoughts, ideas, expectations, justifications, uncertainties, and excitement about home-schooling, I find myself full of "words." So many words that it takes awhile to prune my thoughts into coherent aliquots that can be subsequently expressed verbally (or in writing)!

Therefore, I was *delighted* to see "my words" so succinctly stated:

Unless you have lived through academic struggles with a child who is a misfit for school, it is hard to describe the impact on the family. Tears, sobbing, pleading, punishment, crumpled & torn paper strewn across the floor, pencils cracked in frustration & anger, books thrown across the room, yelling, doors slamming, sullen eyes, silent treatment….entire afternoons and evenings derailed by academic drama.

And that's just after school. There's also the mornings of pulling them out of bed over and over again, threatening to leave them home, skipping breakfast, begging, pleading, water thrown on their head to get them to wake up. Something that is so simple (get up, go to school, do homework) becomes so complicated, so dramatic, clouding everything in your world. It's a full time, exhausting, no-reward effort, debilitating for everyone....

My son has good intentions—always a willing participant in trying a new approach. He wanted the positive glow of a great grade. But he could not sustain the effort needed to achieve it. So every new attempt would last a day or a week or a month until he lost interest... 

Looking back, I have known for years that he was in the wrong place academically. And I feel deep shame that I didn't take action sooner...

My observations coincide with hers in many respects.  While my child didn't have the issues her child does (perhaps because she's younger and female) I can see some of the positive changes in Haley *already*, just with the prospect of home-schooling.  It's amazing, actually.  And maybe...the change isn't JUST with Haley.  Maybe the entire family has been affected by the *prospect* of homeschooling.

Like the author, I do wonder 'what took me so long' to realize (after multiple schools and educational home supplementation) that traditional wasn't really yielding expected results?  I think I kept waiting for it to get better.  "Fourth grade is when you learn all the really important stuff....so we'll see how 4th grade goes."  And when it didn't happen in 4th, the thought became, "Well, maybe in fifth grade the magic happens these days, when she finally breaks off and goes to *intermediate* school..."

One HUGE, very specific change I've noticed with my child *already* (even though nothing else has changed.  She still attends Public school.  She has the same 'friends.') is she's so relaxed and treats her siblings much nicer.  She went from "No one in my room!!" to "Can Hana and I have a slumber party?"

And as further evidence of her 'more relaxed state', I've noticed that she's not so stressed out (frustrated, asking questions before thinking for herself, crying, etc.) when WE go over things together at home.  I was able to teach her the Spanish verb conjugations with a few tears.  I was then able to teach her the Spanish alphabet with NO tears.  And just last week, I was able to teach her percents, proportions, ratios, and review long division via Khan Academy...and it was AWESOME.  Not only were there no tears...we actually had a good time.

After the time was up, she wanted to keep going!!  I think she realizes that...there is no hurry to learn it before "the class moves on."  There is no reason to "slow down" in order to not leave a kid behind.  She has as much (or as little) time as she needs.  She can take the lesson in a completely different direction that what was initially intended....and learn with enthusiasm.

We both had a good time.  AND, when we went grocery shopping, she was able to actually figure out "which one is the best deal."  This has been a sore spot for 2 years with us (whereby she couldn't think of the math 'fast' enough so she'd immediately become anxious and frustrated.  Eventually, she didn't even want to try...).

This is encouraging because...we haven't even started our home-schooling yet.

Backwards Math

[After teaching my child backwards math] "I assumed that the next logical step would be to teach the standard algorithm for addition, whereby the numbers are stacked and added one column at a time (as students have been taught to add since time immemorial). Yet to my horror, the bottom of the page had the standard algorithm written with a big “X “over the top. The page encouraged parents not to teach their child to use this method...." (??!!)"She informed me the district had adopted a math program where they were focusing on “deep understanding,” ...I realized that I was not going to change her mind about the value of standard algorithms. ... I decided to supplement my son’s math instruction at home. This plan absolutely backfired. Supplementing, it turned out, became a nearly impossible task. Our tutoring sessions become increasingly adversarial, with my son ending up in tears multiple times because I was telling him to solve the problem one way and his “teacher doesn’t do it that way,” because she discouraged him from using the standard algorithm...."

THIS, is our story too!! - with Haley



Everyday math is bad news.  Horrible social experiment where the children pay the highest price.  Lets not forget the failed "whole language" reading * experiment* that has yielded raised the statistic of illiterate adults today.

When California instituted the "whole-language" approach to reading nearly a decade ago, it abandoned a tested and proven method - phonics - in favor of one that has children guessing at words and inventing their own spelling and grammar. Whole language quickly spread to virtually every public school. Attempts to restore phonics were rebuffed by the teachers' union and educational "experts," who claimed the new way was better.

The results of this new approach are now in. Standardized tests in California placed that state's public school children in a tie for last with Louisiana as the worst readers among 39 states tested.

And now, the "new focus" is on math.  I guess these people who sit around and think of these things...just don't have anything more productive to do.  OR (more likely) in an attempt to justify their existence  come up with random shit every now-and-then to shake things up.

But the price of not learning how to read...or do math...is to high!!

What does Haley think about going to homeschool?

Readers of this blog know the my impetus for treading down this homeschool journey was Haley.  We've been blessed with great elementary school teachers so far.  Yes, Haley has been in 7 schools in her 10 years on this Earth...but each move was designed to remedy a certain undesirable situation.  And then, I (finally) realized...that perhaps there isn't a (traditional) school that will optimize Haley's potential in all of her ENTJ glory as a true natural born leader.  (Because we know that leadership is not a desired attribute in school where conformity is expected and encouraged).  


Going through the past.
First there was the hole in the wall pre-school.  Very mom and pop in a traditionally decent part of town.  We chose this spot because our 1st baby was going to day-care (at age 1) and this seemed to be close to a "home-like" environment.  But, times change.  And the "good part of town" apparently no longer included this school.  After the gun-man episode, we were out.

And yes, we overcompensated by putting the (now 2 year-old) child in the most bourgeois Montessori school on the rich side of town.  This school (in all of their Montessori-do-whatever-you-want-to-do splendor) left my child undisciplined and crazy-rowdy.

So the following year we decided that we like the "child centered" aspect of instruction, but with RULES and guidelines.  So we went back across town to the Hippie tie-dye school where she actually thrived (although I'm not sure she actually learned anything distinctly academic which was disappointing).  But that was okay because she was from ages 3 - 4)

Then we moved 400 miles north.  So we used my mother to help us pay for a College Laboratory school. Haley was now a 4yo *pre-K* student and I liked the thought of it being on the college campus, and the energy student teachers bring.  But, it was too expensive (and ultimately too far from home after we finally settled into our new house).

So we opted for a less expensive, very close to home, Christian school to begin kindergarten (with the thought that we'd be able to settle down here and let the kids come up thru this school).  We loved this school.  The teachers were great, and Haley was accepted and seemed to thrive.  But, the school was only an elementary school, and there weren't any real options (practical inexpensive options) for her after she 'graduated' from this school.  She stayed at this school for kindergarten and 1st grade.

With now 3 children to consider, we decided to move again to a place with lower cost of living and higher rates of pay and bountiful job options.  And we chose our house because of the local Public school system.  5 stars.  Exemplary.   Parent involvement.

Haley stayed at this Public school for 2nd - 4th grade (the school which Ian attends and Hana will be enrolled).  And this was great for her.  Sure, I think she could have learned more.  And I absolutely had issues with the testing situation and the teaching methods.  But I felt my child is adaptable, and it's "easier" to correct minor deviations in her coursework then it is to *create* the course-work and teach it!! So homeschooling wasn't something that even made sense to me then.  I realized the necessity to supplement the school curriculum, which is how Taylored Curriculum (officially) got started two years ago.

Then she switched to intermediate school for 5th grade...

And Taylored Curriculum could NOT undo all that was being done...AND then fill in the gaps of knowledge she had.  And with each passing month, things got more and more crazy:

"pseudo-suicidal" friends.
blow-jobs in the boys bathroom
teachers who are always absent
excessive testing
bullying (verbally at *least*)
inadequate academic instruction

And Haley's reaction to the "new stressors" was anxiety and diminished self-confidence.

Taylored Curriculum couldn't undo these things.  The only purpose school served was to occupy time.  TIME (our most valuable asset).  Time spent doing things that didn't matter.  Time taken away from her own interests.  Time taken away from family.  Time taken away from academics!  Time...gone.  With nothing to show for it.

So I made the decision to do a new thing.  I'm good at doing a new thing...and Haley is fluid and goes with the flow.  So, now...on her 8th school in her 10 years here on Earth...I am optimistic that I (as her mother) can step in and together with our village, create a better 'school' for our little girl.

Haley:  what do you think about me pulling you out of Public school and putting you in this university model 2 day a week homeschool hybrid situation?

Initial response was:  "Then I'll be the new kid again...and have no friends."

1 week later when one "friend" disowned her, and another got sent to alternative school...

"I realize that my friends aren't really my friends.  I will not miss them.  I am excited to spend more time with you and Daddy...learning stuff so I'll actually be smart!  It's so frustrating to me to 'feel stupid' every time I'm around similar aged children and they know things that I don't know.  I think to myself 'how did they KNOW that?  They've never taught that to me at my school!"  

The thing is, those kids aren't learning these things at school either.

So I'm feeling pretty good about our decision right now.  And as added validation, I appreciate Quinn's honest response below.

from Adventrues in Homeschooling: 

Take Part: As Alice gets older, do you think you'll continue to homeschool?

Quinn: I think it is my responsibility to try my best to keep my ego out of her education. I think we have to watch her and let her watch herself and let her speak up. If she wants to be in brick and mortar schools, and it's the right thing for her to do, I would hope that I would have the sense and the grace to say, "Alright, let's get you set up."

“So you’re going to homeschool them? What do the children think about that?”

Hana:  is *ecstatic* to be going to school!  She is looking forward to carrying her back-pack up the school ramp.  She’s shared with me that it’s “her turn” to shop for school supplies and lunch boxes.  She already knows her kindergarten teacher, because she will very likely have the same teacher Ian had.  She is looking forward to being invited to classmates birthday parties.  She wants to sit in a circle on the rug, and raise her hand…and be *schooled*!! 

So when asked, “Hana, would you like to continue learning at home?” 

(as she has been her entire time with us less 6 months of pre-school when she first arrived here because I mistakenly thought that she’d thrive and adjust *better* if immersed in ‘normal’ nursery-school age activities)

She promptly replied "I want to go to Public school like Haley and Ian did.  I want to have friends, and go away someplace to learn new things..."

And while I am transitioning into a home-schooling advocate as I delve further along this path, I am ALSO an advocate that traditional public school does work just fine for some students.  I feel like I (as many of my peers) did well with (maybe in spite of) public schooling.  For some personalities, public school works better than for others. 

Hana is an ENFP who thrives in social settings, collaboration, and being around people energizes and motivates her.  It’s not surprising that school may be a great option for her.  

Ian:  isn't particularly fond of going to school...but rather he endures it as a good-spirited little boy.  I've carefully chosen all of his teachers based on ideals and personality (insight I gleamed from navigating the process with Haley).  He's been well-matched with his teachers, and the classes are a good size (16 or 17 students).  He listens, and does well.  He's learning quite a bit, albeit very slowly as the presentation of information is a snail pace.  

So when asked, "Ian, would you like to be homeschooled with Haley, or continue going to Public school?"  

He had no prompt reply.  As an ISFP, this is a typical and expected response.

After a couple of days marinating on the idea, he came to the conclusion that he doesn't have friends at school anyway (Ian is not a 'typical' rough/tumble kinda guy, and he looks at those other boys like they are all crazy when they wrestle around and hit each other with sticks).  He determined he's not learning anything anyway.  "Ever since I left Mrs. Irma, I haven't learned anything at school."  [Mrs. Irma was amazing!  Again, a well-matched teacher!]

So his conclusion was "yeah, I think it'll be better for me to be home-schooled because then I get to wake up late and learn things I like."  

"Ammunition" to homeschool: Guns. Institutions. Lord of the Flies.

As focused as I am on finding more opportunities to earn money working from home (so I can be more fully available to engage in this homeschooling project) it seems as though I find *more* time to blog and think about strategy while at work out of the house.  I'll have to keep that in mind moving forward....

I saw this on Yahoo today:

GUNS



5th Graders Plot to RAPE and Kill Classmate ["because she was really, really annoying"]

The 10-year-old responded that he and the 11-year-old were going to “get [the girl] away from the school and do her in”. He said the 11-year-old was going to stab the girl with a knife and the 10-year-old was supposed to keep everyone away, according to court documents.

The 10-year-old indicated he and the 11-year-old had been planning this for awhile, and that another student was aware of their plans.

Rogers then spoke to the 11-year-old. She asked him what the deal was with the knife and gun. He told her he had no idea what she was talking about. Rogers got more specific, asking about the knife, the gun, and the girl. Rogers indicated the 11-year-old became agitated, walked around a little bit, and then asked, “Do you really want to know? OK, fine. I’ll tell you.”

Court documents state the 11-year-old stated he and the 10-year-old were planning to gill the girl “because she was really annoying.”

When asked what they were planning, the 11-year-old indicated, “I was going to kill her with the knife and [the 10-year-old] was supposed to use the gun to keep anyone from trying to stop me or mess up our plan.”

Records state the 11-year-old also admitted the girl was not the only one they were going to “get”.  Rogers pulled out a class list and the 11-year-old showed her six more names of students they were going to target.

TWO boys aged 10 and 11 have been committed to stand trial for conspiring to rape and murder at least one of their classmates.

And after Sandy Hook elementary school massacre, Ian asked me:

So if a shooter comes into my class, do you think I should run, or play dead?

And now, they are having "active shooter drills" where the kids are practicing for this sort of thing (which is good, since it's obviously a real threat, I guess)...but...really?

AND to add insult to injury...of course it's WAY more difficult to PARENTS to get their OWN children these days from school because CRAZY boys decide to shoot up the place.  AND (to add further insult to more injury) they even have it arranged where the kids may leave the school and go to an "undisclosed second location" for "their protection" where the parents wouldn't even know where their own child went!!

Institutionalized "learning" (forcing round pegs into square holes) - I am so.  Over.  It

And this comes riding in on the coat-tails of the STAAR test for Haley that ended this week.  The 4 hour exam that spans over 3-4 days (depending on grade and whether or not they do writing).  Where the walls are covered in paper (including the clock, although it's a TIMED test so you'd gander to think the clock would be useful).  Where the kids are forced to give up days of their lives so "no child is left behind."  

THEN I have a fellow local mom share with me the "fact" that the score on this test determines whether or not my kid is placed in the "you'll be something great, so we'll let you take AP classes and apply for 4-year universities" pile OR whether they'll be relegated to "you're a dumb-ass, and you are only allowed to sign up for junior college - even-though you have a diploma...because we're going to "tag" your diploma with a 'mark of stupidity so everyone will always know...you are stupid...." pile.  

Over.  It. 

"School yard socialization" i.e. discrimination and bullying (based on any/everything that makes  people unique and celebratory)

And finally (for now) I appreciate this blog post by Penelope where she brings to our attention that:  

Research demonstrates that "school-yard discrimination" can have long-lasting detrimental effects on children (particularly girls) leading to drug use, risky sex, and low self-esteem.  And we know that the link between low self-esteem and subsequent abusive relationships, infectious diseases such as HIV/AIDS and HSV (herpes), single motherhood, poverty, and criminal activity is real (and does not require much extrapolation).  

This 6-year longitudinal study examined girls’ peer-nominated social preference and aggression in
childhood as predictors of self- and parent-reported externalizing symptoms, substance use (i.e., cigarette, alcohol, and marijuana use), and sexual risk behavior in adolescence. Participants were 148 girls from diverse ethnic backgrounds, who were initially assessed in Grades 4–6 and again in Grades 10–12. Results supported a moderator model, indicating that social preference changed the nature of the association between childhood aggression and adolescent outcomes. When accompanied by peer rejection, aggressive behavior was moderately stable over time and significantly associated with adolescent girls’ substance use and sexual risk behavior...

And when your girl is in any way "different" she has a higher likelihood of being ostrasized.  Anytime anyone is different for any reason, they have to be prepared to "defend" their difference.  

And if they are outnumbered and unsupported...and TEN YEARS OLD...

...they are more apt to negatively internalize their feelings, resulting in elements of self-destruction.

So, in summary:

Guns (fear and unintended consequences).  Institutions where expectation of conformity over-rides common sense (and all kids learn to do is take tests).  Plus the "Lord of the Flies" mentality on the playground = current school situation and cements my decision to do a different thing!!  

Over.  It.