The Hybrid School Application is complete

After days of internet research on the Hybrid School and weighing the pros/cons, and considering our alternatives we submitted an application today.

Our discussions centered around what was best for Haley.  As I mentioned, while she was an “above average” student in 5th grade, her grades and knowledge were not reflective of her intelligence.  Also, she was a bit stressed-out and her behavior was not consistent with what we know of her personality.  She didn’t really have any friends, and her peer-group acquaintances were not very supportive of her.

We discussed simply holding Haley back a year – allowing her “extra time” to “catch up” since she was 2 years younger than many in her class.  We discussed allowing her to progress to 6th grade, but then holding her back then, preventing a premature advancement to middle school.  We applied for the local Charter Academy (but the chances of her being accepted are small since we don’t live in the City). And I collected local periodicals to scour for Private Schools that might serve our purpose for Haley.

Then, I discovered the Hybrid School.  I was *instantly* intrigued.  After a couple of days of discussion with the Hubby (and after a very difficult evening whereby he expressed his disappointment in moving here, to a great local school district, only to have our child NOT utilize said school district) he agreed to consider the Hybrid School.  While I understood his concerns/disappointment…I am a “let’s not dwell on what isn’t working…” type of person.  So I was already way past him on this issue.

I completed the application that day!!

Yesterday the school was closed – but I did speak to the director via telephone.  And today, as I was preparing to drive up to the school and drop off the application...Hubby suggested we add Ian to the application!!  What?  Really?!!

No argument from me.  Even though I figure he would likely end up maintaining his presence at his current Local Public Elementary school with Hana, I *did* apply for admission into the Charter Academy for everyone (those notifications should be made soon).  But this additional (Hybrid) option for Ian is wonderful!!  I’m all about preserving options!!

***

We turned in the application for the Hybrid School for BOTH Ian and Haley.  The Director wasn’t available, but I dropped it off at the front and email confirmed that it was received.  We await an offer for a family interview….

Hybrid School, could it be?

After weeks of investigating our options...
...and after articulating exactly what I was looking for....

I think I found a nearby Hybrid School where the children go to school 2 days/week, and 3 days/week they are home-schooled.  This will allow Taylored Curriculum to really have time to work.  It doesn't involve moving.  It's very affordable for us, and by working just a few 'extra' shifts per month, we can cover the cost.

-- side-note --

I am *very* cognizant of over-working - and the multitude of negative experiences and unintended consequences that arise when we fall into that "I'll just work a little bit more, so we'll have a little bit more money" TRAP.  I have had colleagues who have committed suicide because they jump onto that hamster wheel of work-money-work-money...that they fail to develop any other aspect of their lives...their relationships fall apart...and their own mental and physical health decline...

...just so they can make "more money."

I decided long ago, I will work what's comfortable for the family.  If I'm gone too often (for too long) our family relationship suffers.  Mommy....is kind of a big deal.  And things are better when I'm present.

Anyway, since this school "only" requires a few "extra" days of work a year (and the benefit of working thereby making the money outweigh the drawbacks to the children) I'm willing to consider it.  But only to make things "better" for the family.

-- side-note end --

So I've sent an email inquiry, spoke with the hubby about the possiblity.  Although he's not quite seeing the 'vision' of the part-time school just yet, if it's the "best" choice for our babies...he'll be on board.

Pro-school. Pro supplemental curriculum (part 2)

(9/2011)  Source:  

Coily Embrace Blog Homeschooling Articles:

Homeschooling Children who go to school - Best of both worlds?

And Part II

I LOVE the idea of enhancing my child’s *life* education in a more methodical fashion (with lessons, and points of focus).  I agree that the family bonding created by these activities can only be accomplished by spending this time together…growing, learning, and interacting.  And, of course as a mother, I have an internal sense of obligation to spend *some* time teaching my own children…stuff.  So, I decided to add a pseudo-homeschooling sentiment into the lives of my public school attending children.

It started with summer vacation – a low stakes time where *anything* I do is better than doing nothing.  I wanted to focus on “fun” educational activities that exposed them to NEW opportunities (things that they would otherwise NOT experience through the school).  I wanted the activities to be worth the effort – meaning, if the kid happened to enjoy the activity, or had undiscovered natural talent, there was the opportunity for further development.  I wanted a diversity of activities.  I wanted each child to have their *own* activity.  I wanted the various activities to fit into a category:  fine art, performing art, sport, life skills, and health education.  And I wanted some history, politics, social and spiritual consciousness mixed in for good measure.   I wanted sincere and memorable family interaction, and I wanted to incorporate some travel and sight-seeing using the world as our classroom.

I spent hours/days/weeks in late Spring scouring our local accommodations for educational, child-friendly activities that fit my various criteria.  Emailing ranch owners who teach children to care for and ride horses.  Photography classes, learning to type, canvas painting, yoga, scrapbooking, swimming instruction, basketball camps, book clubs.  We “took a week off” to be with visiting family…and had a fabulous stay-cation learning how to be good hosts and learning all about hospitality.  We ate at nice restaurants and learned about etiquette and proper manners.   We planned an extremely busy road trip were we saw many national monuments, various cities, and practiced our social skills by interacting with pubic officials and politicians.  All the while reading books and flash-cards along the way to help solidify and add perspective to the journey.

And it was *difficult* planning this summer curriculum.  It was time-consuming to execute this program.  But it was rewarding, because the kids actually *learned* EXTRA stuff…and saw things they otherwise wouldn’t have.  And by the time summer was winding down, I was ready for a “break.”  And the kids going back to school offered the perfect opportunity for me a break.

And I realized (again) that home-schooling was just too big of project for me.  But I also realized that, I could ADD TO their education…and I could pick and choose all things NOT math, spelling, reading, and writing.  My supplementation could include music, art, sports, education about health and fitness.  We could plant organic gardens together, care for animals, learn to sew.

I could spend time actually teaching them how to properly clean the house, wash clothes, read food labels, and prepare simple nutritious meals.  I can teach them about relationships (those relationships that begin with school friends) and help them navigate the social nuances of school yard life that will extrapolate into work-place life.

If they go to school I am free to pontificate their lives, and create afterschool and weekend learning opportunities that I would not be able to do if I were busy teaching the basics all day.   I could relax and take care of myself, and be fully available to teach them my supplemental curriculum.

Suddenly, it was all crystal clear:  I did not have to pull them out of school to home-school.  There’s plenty of time to home-school my children, after they come home from school.  And by creating a supplemental tailored curriculum for them to implement, my children will get the very best I have to offer (especially as sane and happy Mom).

***
- Update 2/23/13 - 

Reemphasize:  What I failed to realize back then was the option to have MORE time for our Taylored Curriculum...and allow Traditional School be the "supplement."  

Pro-school. Pro supplemental curriculum.

Those who know me understand I’m not anti-school.  Actually I am a proponent of school and really have no desire to “be school” to my children.  I wrote here, that in a perfect world I would like a hybrid of sorts – where there’s structure and *school* in the strict sense (with professional teachers teaching material to my child that I would have to re-learn in order to teach effectively) but offers flexibility (and decreases “fluff”) so we can maximize our time together and enjoy a home-based curriculum.

This was written some almost 2 years ago when I initially explored the possibility of home-schooling...but kinda.  

The issue I failed to consider in 2011 was…the tremendous amount of time wasted in school as the children get older.  We expect that little kids are going to “waste time” as it can be argued that that is *exactly* the sort of thing that benefits little kids the most.

However, when Haley explained that her day in intermediate school looks like the following, it got me thinking:

Start 7:45a (which is too early)
Fleks time (i.e. teacher free time so the kids “read”) until 8:30
Social studies (make-up work time) 8:30-9:30.
Recess until 10am
Social studies/language arts lesson time 10-11am
Lunch/recess 11-11:45a
Math/Science lesson 12p-1p.
The rest of the day until 2:45p consists of reading, time to do worksheets, and “co-curr” (art/music, PE, etc).

So that’s 2 hours of new lesson time per day in (reportedly) 4 subjects.  30 minutes a subject?  The rest of the time is transitions, recess, lunch, and (essentially) play time.  Sounds like glorified babysitting to me.  Which would be FINE if hubby and I weren’t home most of the time.

This got me thinking…

…I wonder if there’s a “part-time” school that condenses the academic presentation (from 10 hours over 5 days, to 10 hours over 2) and allow for flexibility in self-study that would allow an increase the utilization of our Taylored Curriculum?  Where we wouldn't be relegated to “typical” after-school hours, weekends, and school holidays…and would have the ability to better bond with our child so we can be more effective life coaches and parents?

Hana.

Hana was born in South Ethiopia, and spent her first year of life between two orphanages in Ethiopia and was subsequently hospitalized upon arrival to the United States in 2008.

Her story is HERE.

Understandably, she was a very strong, emotionally stoic infant who rarely cried in sorrow but frequently expressed outbursts of disapproval/frustration. She was malnourished, physically ill with multiple infectious diseases including varicella and scabies, which essentially desensitized her sense of touch as the bugs crawled all over her skin non-stop (enough to drive anyone, literally, crazy).  She was emotionally deprived of affection and love and was accustomed to a very rigid and regimented orphanage routine with no allowances for variations in preferences or personality.

By the time we got her, she was completely desensitized, emotionally disconnected, totally institutionalized, had a mild cognitive delay, and was operating in “survival mode.”  Survival mode consisted of “not needing anyone” and having the ability to tolerate very noxious stimuli.  Although we were aware of her risk factors for reactive attachment disorder (among other issues), her superficial charm , unrestrained/indiscriminate affection, and the severity of her obvious physical health problems made it difficult to effectively evaluate her emotional health fully.

Nonetheless, our first line of business was getting her physically healthy and thriving. Physician visits, hospitalizations, medications, dietitians, and everything she needed physically to survive and thrive was our priority. This process was not very conducive for healing the emotional wounds – as hospitals and treatments can be uncomfortable, so the emotional healing was further delayed.

After she was on the road to physical recovery we felt the need to immerse her in a community of emotional support and intellectual stimuli.  As mentioned in a prior post, we were huge advocates of daycare which served our family so well.  Eager to realize the same positive results with Hana, we put her in a great preschool program with her older brother.  With new rules and expectations, she resisted and was immediately reluctant to embrace this “new” concept of  ”village” day-care. She possessed characteristics of an aloof child – disconnected and detached – and being made to interact and share were foreign concepts to this 15 month old.  And while she did VERY well in daycare, her attachment to the family seemed to wane…

Being a part of a family (understandably) did not come naturally for her, so she had to be ‘taught’ and expected to ‘practice’ until it was ‘normal’. She resisted this by not talking, not coming out of her room, and not interacting with the family. She was content to stay in her room (with no food or water) for very long stretches of time. Initially, in an attempt to help her determine her own rate of development, we let her set her own schedule. But when it became clear that she wasn’t necessarily following her body’s natural urges, but rather “accepting the discomfort” of hunger, pain, and loneliness, we forced her to discontinue that behavior.

In retrospect, Hana displayed signs of reactive attachment disorder early on.  She always seemed very happy to external people. Unbeknownst to the ‘average’ non-adoptive family, Hana was always “auditioning” for a “new” adoptive family, ‘just in case this new family thing didn’t work out’ (demonstrating that she didn’t see us as her forever family). This was evident as we observed her behind closed doors to be confused, in pain, resentful, angry, frustrated, afraid, skeptical, defiant, and we could see the sadness in her eyes and behavior. When she was feeling afraid, or unsure, she went inside of herself…and developed an attitude of “I don’t care about you guys, so leave me alone.”  At times we questioned her ability to hear, and considered deeper cognitive developmental delays.  When all testing failed to demonstrate *significant* deficits, she continued to display lack-luster intellectual performance.

After a few months in daycare/preschool it became obvious that Hana required MORE time with her FAMILY and less time with *everyone else* where she could begin bonding with us.  Based on our research, it was recommended that we limit Hana’s external contacts until she could realize the difference between “family” and “other people.”  So we pulled her out of daycare and kept her home with us.

Every year we reevaluated her development and watched her become more attached to us.  She continued to display classic signs of RAD, but as the years passed, they have become much more subtle.   She still can be very superficially charming and inappropriately affectionate, but these episodes are very intermittent, and we (all of us) have made tremendous progress in bonding our family.

We are now looking at allowing her to attend public kindergarten.  I still believe that there are tons of huge advantages to attending school, especially for a young child.  And while the drawbacks outweighed the benefits for Hana initially due to her early life circumstances, I am excited to see if by Fall she’ll be ready to experience the many benefits with less risk.

Hana has been SO looking forward to going off to school for years as she watched her older sister and brother shop for new clothes, school-supplies, lunch boxes…and have classroom performances and make friends complete with play-dates and birthday party invites!!  With so many little girls worldwide wishing to attend school…we would LOVE to see Hana have the opportunity.  After being home for 4 years alone with both parents with a once a week gymnastics class, once a month social Jack and Jill event, and days out for lunch with Grandma or Grandpa, she’s ready to have a pool of “strangers” to connect with, new friends to make and new adventures to enjoy.

So we have applied for acceptance for Hana into the local Charter Academy, and we will participate in the kindergarten round-up for the local public school that was attended by her big sister and brother….

...we think that Hana will thrive at the local Public School (as her Brother and Sister did before her).  AND by allowing the wonderful teachers (who we now know very well) to teach (and love on) Hana we continue to tailor our parenting to serve the unique needs of each child.  

Haley.

Haley is a 10 y ear-old 5th grader.  She is almost a full year behind (age-wise) the rest of her 5th grade class.  There are many students who were held back (or whose parents decided they should start school late) making Haley 2 full years behind many of the students – including her best friend.

Haley is a very intelligent girl, and while Daddy stayed home with her for the first year of her life, she’s been in institutional day-care or school continuously since age 1. I’ve heard (and now realize) that it’s time to really *pay attention* now that she’s a tween. This is preeminently important at this age where small alterations and slight refocused efforts will have a huge pay-off. And a lack of realization in the importance of real parenting at this stage can prove VERY detrimental! Especially if it involves a child that requires her parents to pay attention.

We knew Haley was going to expand our parenting skills. She was born independent, and has only proven, time and time again, that she requires parents that have the energy and wherewithal to be innovative and involved.   She was a early talker, outgoing and social.  She was stong-willed and opinionated the day she was born!  By 9 months she was standing, and well under a year she was walking, running, and jumping unassisted.  Grandma still recounts a story of Haley (age 7 months) pulling herself up to her TV table to work the DVD player!!

And we knew Haley was a “different” kind of child when she rolled across the room at 8 weeks to ‘investigate’ a newspaper with her mouth!!

Haley had some minor issues with friend relationships, listening, maturity, and self-control.  Being that she is only one of 2 children of color in her class, and one of 10 (of a total in excess of 500) in her grade-level, she frequently finds herself “misunderstood” and confused.  Growing up is complicated, and school seems to be complicating it further for Haley.  She is unable to calm herself down effectively if she’s on the go all the time (a large chunk of that time is spent at school).  Also, there’s the consideration that she IS a FULL 2 years behind many students in her class… So initially I cut back on her extracurricular activities.

Like with Ian, I implemented a supplemental curriculum…and was designed to offer enhancements to school.  But, with the ‘enhancements’ combined with the (stressful) social issues…it was all she could muster just to “do school.”  So we cut out extra-curricular sports, and changed some ‘house-rules’ and set new behavioral expectations at home. As a result of our changes, I realize that….there’s more to the equation. Haley’s outward expression overshadowed the nuances of these other, more subtle issues.

Now that Haley has made some great strides…I realize that the current way we educate our students in this country, isn’t going to work for Haley. She’s not learning about LIFE and about the world in a way that’ll be applicable. Her peers all have their various “issues” making what should be a “simple” friendship, complicated. So many families today are completely over-scheduled.  Well-roundedness is not as coveted as many people believe.  A couple of good points are made by Penelope Trunk here and here.   Over extended, over-booked, with no real specialization is their MO which amounts to everything that’s done, by everyone, to be mediocre at best.


- Update: 2/23/13 -

So this local hybrid school was revealed to me. I am cautiously excited about the possibility of Haley participating in this half-home-school and half classic/tradition school very close to our home (for $2700/year). I believe, this compromise will allow me to spend more valuable time with my daughter, while not compromising her academic instruction or her ability to network and socialize in a school setting. Fingers-crossed that it works out!!

Ian

Ian is a 7 year-old 1st grader.

Ian also had a year at home with Daddy prior to attending various day-care centers and pre-schools.  Unlike Haley who does well in the midst of activity, Ian required home-like environments with “Mother-type” teachers to thrive and feel comfortable.  Because early childhood education was so important to us, we chose a series of home-based preschools for our son.

When it came time to starting kindergarten, we realized that Ian’s late Fall birthday would make him among the youngest members of the class.  For Haley, that was fine because she was such a precocious speaker and so well socialized that we had no doubt she was “ready” for kindergarten.  But Ian, was a different kind of child.  He didn’t talk until he was two.  And didn’t talk much until he was 4.  He spent 2 years in speech therapy because, even after he DID start talking…no one could understand him except Haley.

Each and every milestone was accomplished right on the edge.  Rolling over…sitting unassisted…the kid didn’t walk until 1.5 years old!  Still all within normal limits, but different from his big sister who was running all round, unassisted, at her very 1st birthday party.  Grandma still recounts a story of Haley (age 7 months) pulling herself up to her TV table to work the DVD player!!  And we knew Haley was a “different” kind of child when she rolled across the room at 8 weeks to ‘investigate’ a newspaper with her mouth!!

So, for our Ian, we decided that he would do better (i.e. be more competitive, more resistant to negative peer-pressure, able to sit still and follow directions as necessary to do well in school) if we avoided rushing him off to kindergarten.  Ultimately we opted for a private kindergarten/pre-K program which he began just prior to his 5th birthday (as not to ‘waste’ a year).  And the following year he was ‘officially’ old enough to enroll in public kindergarten.

…until he started public kindergarten.Our plan was successful.  Ian was well-behaved, mature, and a joy to his teachers.  He learned phenomenally well from his teacher and impressed us with his academic abilities.  Ian constantly demonstrated that this “going to school” thing was such a great decision…

It was then that he started subtly complaining that he “already knew all of this stuff.”

Instead of being “concerned,” I was *thrilled*!  It meant that he should be a high-achiever…the dream of any parent.  So I established a supplemental home curriculum to complement and enhance his school experience.  And throughout public kindergarten year, this was sufficient.

Then 1st grade happened.

We LOVE his 1st grade teacher, and Ian continues to do well in her class.  However, as he continues to be unenthusiastic about attending school (“I’m not going to learn anything new today”) I’m feeling the urge to reconsider our current arrangement with this child.

New year. New thoughts about school.

It  takes time to plan and implement lasting modifications to your life.  I have long ago given up “New Year’s Resolutions” in the strictest sense and instead opt for a “Year Plan.”  And this ‘plan’ understandably will take a few months to create and implement.  So there are no “profound New Year changes” that happen on the January 1st – which alleviates tons of anxiety.

Our plan for 2013 is multi-faceted, but one element will consist of converting to a more home-centric educational experience for our children.

I am the type of parent who endeavors to meet the unique needs of each individual child.  More than fretting over “equality”, I am more interested in having the ability to honestly assess each child and provide to them what they need to further develop their strengths  and support them in areas where they are weaker.   No two children are the same, and relationships between family members are as unique as snowflakes. Instead of getting hung up on trying to be “fair,” effort would be better spent focusing on fulfilling each child’s unique needs – realizing individual needs differ.

Of course, as we raise our children, we all do the very best we can with the information we have available to us at the time.  With the acquisition of new information, our parenting technique may adjust.

I’ve always been a huge proponent of day-care for young children.  While I recognized a clear benefit to being home with a parent or family member for the first year of life, I was always eager to put my children into daycare in the 2nd year of life.  The socialization was unmatched.  Being home all day with 1 person didn’t hold a candle to being in the company of multiple adults and similar age children.  Additionally, the early childhood development that took place in these environments, not to mention the early development of a strong immune system, were clear advantages of attending daycare.   It made sense to me that creating our “village” involved daycare.  And the proverbial ‘village’ is under-appreciated and underutilized in our culture today.

So our village we created with the help of day-care.  We were very pleased with the social and intellectual development of our oldest two children in their carefully selected day-care/pre-schools.  They were excited to go, and it allowed my husband and I to continue developing our own careers (which was critical at that point in our lives in order for us to take a pause now).  From ages 18 months forward, both Haley and Ian were in full-time preschool/day-care.  And our family thrived.

Then 5th grade happened….