Haley.

Haley is a 10 y ear-old 5th grader.  She is almost a full year behind (age-wise) the rest of her 5th grade class.  There are many students who were held back (or whose parents decided they should start school late) making Haley 2 full years behind many of the students – including her best friend.

Haley is a very intelligent girl, and while Daddy stayed home with her for the first year of her life, she’s been in institutional day-care or school continuously since age 1. I’ve heard (and now realize) that it’s time to really *pay attention* now that she’s a tween. This is preeminently important at this age where small alterations and slight refocused efforts will have a huge pay-off. And a lack of realization in the importance of real parenting at this stage can prove VERY detrimental! Especially if it involves a child that requires her parents to pay attention.

We knew Haley was going to expand our parenting skills. She was born independent, and has only proven, time and time again, that she requires parents that have the energy and wherewithal to be innovative and involved.   She was a early talker, outgoing and social.  She was stong-willed and opinionated the day she was born!  By 9 months she was standing, and well under a year she was walking, running, and jumping unassisted.  Grandma still recounts a story of Haley (age 7 months) pulling herself up to her TV table to work the DVD player!!

And we knew Haley was a “different” kind of child when she rolled across the room at 8 weeks to ‘investigate’ a newspaper with her mouth!!

Haley had some minor issues with friend relationships, listening, maturity, and self-control.  Being that she is only one of 2 children of color in her class, and one of 10 (of a total in excess of 500) in her grade-level, she frequently finds herself “misunderstood” and confused.  Growing up is complicated, and school seems to be complicating it further for Haley.  She is unable to calm herself down effectively if she’s on the go all the time (a large chunk of that time is spent at school).  Also, there’s the consideration that she IS a FULL 2 years behind many students in her class… So initially I cut back on her extracurricular activities.

Like with Ian, I implemented a supplemental curriculum…and was designed to offer enhancements to school.  But, with the ‘enhancements’ combined with the (stressful) social issues…it was all she could muster just to “do school.”  So we cut out extra-curricular sports, and changed some ‘house-rules’ and set new behavioral expectations at home. As a result of our changes, I realize that….there’s more to the equation. Haley’s outward expression overshadowed the nuances of these other, more subtle issues.

Now that Haley has made some great strides…I realize that the current way we educate our students in this country, isn’t going to work for Haley. She’s not learning about LIFE and about the world in a way that’ll be applicable. Her peers all have their various “issues” making what should be a “simple” friendship, complicated. So many families today are completely over-scheduled.  Well-roundedness is not as coveted as many people believe.  A couple of good points are made by Penelope Trunk here and here.   Over extended, over-booked, with no real specialization is their MO which amounts to everything that’s done, by everyone, to be mediocre at best.


- Update: 2/23/13 -

So this local hybrid school was revealed to me. I am cautiously excited about the possibility of Haley participating in this half-home-school and half classic/tradition school very close to our home (for $2700/year). I believe, this compromise will allow me to spend more valuable time with my daughter, while not compromising her academic instruction or her ability to network and socialize in a school setting. Fingers-crossed that it works out!!